


Christmas Rebuilt

by JenCollins



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Break Up, Breaking down, Christmas, Christmas Presents, Family Trip, Love, M/M, Make Up, Phan - Freeform, Smut, broken dan, christmas smut?, love that can't die, needy phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 21:47:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15649569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenCollins/pseuds/JenCollins
Summary: Dan and Phil broke up short before Christmas but they don't want to ruin family Christmas by telling everyone since they are invited to spend them with their family all together. so they make a deal to fake their relationship through the Christmas. But things don't go as planned.





	1. All Things Break

Dan was sitting on the couch, watching tv. Alone, once again.

He and Phil didn't spend much time together anymore.

Phil walked into the room, sitting down on the other side of the couch.

\- We need to talk. - Phil said, looking at Dan, waiting for him to look up.

\- About what? Are you going out again? - Dan asked without even looking up.

\- No, about something more serious. - Phil started to get annoyed at Dan. - Can you finally fucking look up? -

Hearing the f word from Phil made Dan look up right away.

Blue eyes were no longer warm as they used to be, now they were pure ice.

\- I can't do this anymore. It just doesn't work. I want to start seeing other people. People who would actually be interested in me, who would want to have sex with me, spend time with me and go out on dates! I can't do this anymore. I think it will be better if we break up. - Phil said without any hard emotions.

Dan watched him as if waiting for Phil to burst out laughing and say that it's just a joke, that he still loves him, and then lean down to kiss him. But none of that happened. Phil stayed as he was, not even wanting to move.

Dan felt a sharp pain spread through his chest, through his body.

He didn't say anything, there was no point in trying anymore.

He simply got up and walked to his room, grabbing a full bottle of vodka on his way.

Dan walked into his room, closing the door behind him.

He didn't switch on the light.

He simply sat down and opened the bottle of vodka, downing it straight.

That night, Dan cried a lot, but no sound came out.

He was crashing down and no amount of strong vodka could wash it away.

It was just 3 days till Christmas.

Phil was in a good mood, he felt like a big bag of rocks had been lifted off of his shoulders.

He felt free, like he could breathe again.

Dan stumbled out of his room around noon, just to get another bottle of vodka from their kitchen.

Phil didn't say anything; a small part of him was starting to get worried but he shrugged it off.

Phil had bigger things to worry about, like what to wear to the club tonight.

So they didn't say a word to each other, they didn't even look at each other.

They were complete strangers passing each other on their own paths, not really noticing the other's presence.

The next day, they both stumbled out of their rooms around 1 pm, both feeling really down.

Dan started to search for another drink to have because he'd downed both bottles of vodka already, but there was none to be found.

\- Is there any vodka left? I have such a bad hangover. - Phil groaned as he sat down.

\- Nada. - Dan groaned too, also sitting down.

\- Ugh. - Phil let his head fall into his hands.

Dan couldn't bear to watch Phil for any longer so he got up and went outside.

Not far away. Just to buy a couple bottles of the strongest vodka.

When Dan got back, Phil was already asleep in his room.

He looked cute, Dan had to admit.

Dan let his head hang low, stomping back to the kitchen.

Dan didn't even notice himself making a hangover drink for Phil so he could feel better until he was standing with a glass next to sleeping Phil.

Dan blinked for a second, not doing anything.

He simply felt lost.

Dan shook his head, putting the drink down and walking back to his room with a bag full of vodka bottles.

Dan simply sat down, starting to drink away his feelings.

Phil woke up to see a glass on his night stand table.

Aww, Dan made me a drink, he thought before he stopped himself.

Phil shrugged, downing his drink and instantly feeling better.

His phone started to ring.

Mum

He picked it up, trying to sound as cheerful as always.

\- Hi, honey! How are you? How is Dan doing? - Mum was asking in a cheerful tone.

\- Hi, mum. We are doing great! How are you? - Phil liked talking with his mum so he didn't even need to fake his cheerfulness.

\- I'm good, I'm good. Thanks. So, I was calling you to make sure that you and Dan will come to our Christmas holiday. Everything is already ready, I am so excited! Family Christmas! How sweet! - Mum's excitment could be felt through the phone but Phil was frozen.

Christmas holiday with family, shit!

They had forget about that.

They couldn't tell everyone that they'd broken up, it would ruin Christmas.

Phil didn't want to ruin everyone's holiday.

\- Of course! We can't wait! We are so excited for it! - Phil heard himself lie.

Well, it wasn't a complete lie. When they'd first gotten to know about the little family Christmas holiday trip, they'd been very excited. But lately, they'd forgotten about it.

\- That's so great! I can't wait to meet you two! My sweet babies! See you both tomorrow! - Mum said before hanging up.

Phil sat there, looking down at his phone, not sure of what to do next.

He rushed to Dan's room to see that Dan had fallen asleep with 3 empty vodka bottles lying next to his bed.

He sat down and started to wake Dan up.

\- Mm? - Dan opened his eyes to see Phil's worried blue ones.

That made him immediately sit upright.

\- What's wrong? What happened? Are you hurt? - Dan couldn't stop his hand reaching out to grab Phil's hand.

\- What? No! Don't be stupid. - Phil shrugged, but kept Dan's hand on his arm. - Mum called and she reminded me about the holiday trip! I completely forgot about that! We can't announce that we're not together anymore. It will ruin everyone's Christmas! -

\- And? - Dan slipped back into his black shell, taking his hand off Phil, sinking back into his pillows.

\- And? Dan! We can't ruin everyone's Christmas! And I said to mum that we will be there and that we're excited about the whole thing! - Phil urged.

-Then cancel it! It is not my fucking problem that you chose to break up with me right before Christmas and then blurted out that we are still together! Deal with your fucking problem by yourself. - Dan groaned, leaning down to get another bottle of vodka.

\- No, it is not! It is your problem too! And stop fucking drinking! - Phil snatched the bottle out of Dan's hands.

\- Give it back! I can do what ever I want! - Dan raised his voice.

\- First deal with OUR problem! - Phil raised his voice too, making Dan sit back.

\- Fine. What do you want me to do? - Dan crossed his arms in front of his chest, leaning back against the headboard

\- I don't know but we can't show that we're not together… - Phil was starting to panic; he really didn't want to ruin everyone's Christmas.

\- Okay. - Dan shrugged.

\- Okay, what? - Phil asked, turning to face him.

\- Then let's pretend that nothing has happened. - Dan felt tired of this talk.

\- Like fake that we are in relationship? - Phil asked.

\- Yes. Don't play stupid. - Dan sighed.

\- Okay, then it's a deal. For the holiday, while we're with our families, we will pretend that we're are still together. - Phil stretched out his hand for Dan to shake.

\- Deal. Now give me my bottle back. - Dan stretched out his hand, shaking Phil's and then reaching for his vodka bottle.

\- No, you can't be wasted. Tomorrow morning we are driving to spend time with our families so get ready, pack. - Phil stood up, walking away with the bottle still in his hand, making Dan sigh.


	2. One,Two,Three, Act!

The whole train ride was spent in silence.

Phil was on his computer, trying to not get too bored.

Dan was listening to music and staring out of the window, deep in his own thoughts.

Right before the train was about to stop, Dan took out a small bottle of something and took a shot of it.

\- What was that? - Phil asked, putting his laptop down.

\- What was what? - Dan looked over at Phil.

\- That bottle from which you took a shot. What was that? - Phil started to get a bit annoyed at how dumb Dan was playing.

\- And what do you think it was? Vodka, of course. - Dan shrugged, standing up, ready to leave.

\- Dan, we talked about that already! - Phil was now fully annoyed, standing up, taking his bag.

\- Yeah, yeah, whatever. I don't give a shit. If I want to get wasted, I will. You can't do anything about it, you choose to walk out of my life and, with that, walk out of any possibilities of telling me what to do and what not to do. - Dan turned to face Phil, saying it all in calm, smooth voice.

Phil was a bit taken aback. It felt like a slap in the face but before he could say anything, Dan was already off the train, greeting their waiting families.

\- Boys! We missed you so much! These will be the best holidays so far! I am so happy about this! - Mum said, hugging them both.

\- I missed you too, mum. - Dan said, hugging his mum a bit tighter.

\- Now, let's get to the car, it is cold outside. - Phil's mum urged with a smile, hugging Dan while Dan's mum was hugging Phil.

\- Yeah, I am hungry! - Phil exclaimed.

\- You are always hungry. - Dan shook his head, walking off to the car.

Phil just shook his head, following Dan to the car.

\- They are so cute together. Couple goals! - they heard their mums whisper.

Dan pulled out the little bottle, downing all that was left in it before throwing it away.

It just hurt too much to be reminded of the past all the time, he felt the need to wash it away. And for now, washing it away meant to drink it away.

Phil acted like he just didn't see what Dan did, but he did and he couldn't understand why.

Was he so into drinking before too…?

I didn't notice him drinking so much…

But maybe he did…

Ugh.

Phil shrugged it all off and sat in the car, putting his bag between himself and Dan.

Dan closed his eyes while they were driving to the cabin, he wasn't wasted yet, he was just a bit buzzed. He still felt the hurt spreading around his body and his mind, eating him alive.

\- We're here! You will love this cabin! It is so lovely! And you will love your room too! - the mums were talking over one another, feeling excited for their boys to see the cabin.

\- It looks so fantastic already and it's just the outside! I can't wait to get inside! - Phil felt excited.

\- What do you think, Dan? Dan? - their mums turned around to find Dan asleep.- Aww, we'll let you to wake him. Your room is upstairs to the left. We will be in the kitchen! - the mums smiled, hopping out of the car and walking inside, happily chatting.

Phil looked over at sleeping Dan.

Dan was paler than usual, dark circles under his eyes.

But he looked so peaceful and so… so lovely…

Phil slowly leaned down, hovering over Dan.

It looked like he was about to kiss him.

From the corner of his eyes, Phil saw that their mums were still watching them from the kitchen window so Phil slowly leaned down, placing a soft kiss right on Dan's cold lips.

Dan let out a soft sigh, relaxing into the touch but not waking up.

Phil pushed Dan's hair back a bit, leaning down to kiss him properly.

Just for the show… - Phil said to himself.

Dan answered the kiss almost right away, melting into it.

A single tear slipped down his left cheek.

\- Wake up, everyone is waiting for us inside… - Phil whispered.

He had no idea why he was whispering but he did anyway.

\- mhmm… - Dan hummed, not wanting to open his eyes.

\- C'mon, wake up, our mums are watching from the kitchen window. I won't kiss you one more time. Wake up. - Phil said, sitting up, taking his bag, ready to go.

Dan sighed, opening his eyes and getting out of the car.

Phil's kiss still covering his lips...

Dan pulled his facade back up, making it strong so it wouldn't fall, so no real emotion could get through.

They walked inside, instantly greeted by their families.

Smiles and hugs were shared, everyone was happy and so joyful that it made Dan start to feel sick.

He was so sick of pretending, he had always hated it.

But he needed to do this, he didn't want to be a true Grinch and ruin everyone's Christmas.

So Dan was smiling and hugging everyone, trying to be as happy as possible in the moment of heartbreak.

They walked to their room, gasping at how beautiful and big it was.

With a big king-sized bed in the middle of it.

Dan jumped onto the bed, feeling the soft covers hugging him.

Phil laughed, jumping onto the bed too, feeling how comfortable it was.

\- This is such an amazing bed. - Phil sighed in happines.

\- It is. You can sleep in it. I will sleep on the floor. - Dan said, getting up without showing any emotions.

\- What? You can't sleep on the floor. It's cold, you could get sick. - Phil said as he sat up in surprise.

\- And? At least there will be a bigger chance for me to finally die. - Dan snapped back at Phil, walking out of the room.

Phil just shook his head, feeling a bit upset about Dan's answers.

Phil walked into the kitchen to see dinner already ready and put on the table.

\- Let's eat all together. It's been so long since our last big family meal! - the mums said happily.

\- Yeah, I am happy that we all could come here to spend Christmas together. It was such a great idea to rent a cabin for the holidays. - Dan smiled, sitting down.

Phil sat down next to him, not saying anything.

They were eating and chatting, all feeling happy and joyful.

Phil's phone kept buzzing so he took it out to see a guy from the club texting him.

Phil smiled down at his phone, typing a reply.

Then popped up a photo of the guy shirtless in his bed.

Dan had stopped eating, all colour washing away from his face, anger starting to kick in.

He was looking down at why Phil was smiling.

It made his stomach turn.

And when Phil texted the guy that he would love to be there with him, Dan lost it.

\- Oh, can you fucking stop that?! - Dan's anger exploded, making everyone turn to him in sudden shock.

Phil was snapped back to reality by that, looking up at Dan to see flaming anger in his eyes.

Dan pushed his chair back, standing up in a sudden rush.

He just needed to get away from here, from all the lies, from all the faking.

He couldn't breathe.

He felt sick.

He didn't even feel himself rushing out of the cabin into the cold night.

Not looking back and just rushing away, somewhere, not knowing where, simply away.

Everyone was sitting inside in complete shock, not really understanding what just happened.

\- What just happened…? - Phil's brother asked.

\- Erm… I don't really know… - Phil was still in shock himself, looking at the door where Dan had rushed out, his phone long forgotten.

\- Is he okay? He seemed so angry. - Phil's brother's girlfriend asked.

\- I… I have no idea… - Phil didn't know what to say.

He started to worry about Dan.

It was a pitch black night outside and it had start to snow too.

\- Should we go look for him? - someone asked.

\- No, Dan needs to calm down on his own. It's better to leave him alone when he needs it. It will be for the best. - Phil answered, hoping that he will be right.

\- Okay… - everyone slowly started to eat again.

Phil had lost all his appetite so he just walked to his room, looking outside, waiting to see some sign of Dan.

One hour passed, then another and another, but there was still no sign of Dan.

\- Please come back, everyone is worried. - Phil texted him, hoping to get a response.

\- Coming. - Dan answered several minutes latter.

Phil told the others that Dan was already coming back and that there was no need to worry anyone so everyone could go to sleep now.

Phil waited around one more hour till the door finally opened.

Dan walked in, shivering.

He was in just a plain sweater, he hadn't put a coat on when he'd rushed outside.

\- Oh my, you could have frozen to death! You idiot! What were you thinking! - Phil rushed towards Dan, feeling both annoyed at Dan's stupidity and relieved that Dan was okay and back.

\- Oh, for fuck's sake, stop it. - Dan slurred out; he was drunk.

\- Are you drunk? - Phil stopped in his tracks.

\- Yes, I am. - Dan walked past Phil, ready to climb the stairs but slipping on the first step.

\- Carefull! - Phil caught him, helping Dan get up to their room.

\- You need to take a warm shower, you're freezing. - Phil said in a soft voice, leading Dan to the bathroom.

Dan didn't say anything, for once he didn't feel anything.

To be honest, he felt good that he had frozen so much.

Dan sat down in the shower with all his clothes still on, letting Phil wash warm water over him.

There was no point in taking his clothes off, they were wet anyway.

Dan simply sat there, starting to feel better, slowly starting to fall asleep.

\- Hey, hey, don't sleep. Need to get you to the bed first. - Phil pulled Dan up.- undress yourself, I will get you dry boxers. -

Dan just nodded, starting to undress his wet clothes, soon standing completely naked, searching for the towel.

\- Your boxers. - Phil reached his hand into the bathroom without looking in himself, giving Dan the boxers.

\- Thanks… - Dan pulled the boxers on, stomping out of the bathroom, ready to fall asleep.

\- Get in the bed. We need to sleep together so it won't be suspicious. - Phil said, pulling off the covers for Dan to get into the bed.

Dan simply didn't listen to Phil anymore. He slowly climbed into the bed, crashing down onto the pillow, sighing softly.

Phil pulled the covers over Dan, making sure that Dan's face wasn't too pressed into the pillow before he got into bed himself.

In the morning Phil was woken up by a weird, almost-silent sound coming from the bathroom.

He looked to his side to see it empty and cold.

Phil slowly got up, walking to the bathroom, slowly pushing the door open to see what the sound was.

Dan was sitting on the tiles, crying his eyes out and gasping for breath. His eyes were red and puffy, his hair messy. His whole body was shaking.

Phil slowly closed the door again and stepped back.

Dan was having a breakdown.

Phil felt responsible for that.

It was christmas evening today, Dan should be happy, not crying.

You really choose the wrong time to break up with him, you idiot!

Phil put on some warm clothes and walked downstairs to see everyone already starting to get ready for breakfast.

\- Good morning, sweety. How is Dan doing? - his Mum asked.

\- Good Morning! He's okay, he's in the shower, he'll come downstairs a bit later. - Phil smiled as he started to help getting breakfast ready.

Everyone had started to eat but there was still no sign of Dan.

\- He got a bit cold last night on his walk, that's probably why he is taking such a long shower. You know Dan, he like long showers. - Phil laughed, making the others laugh too.

Everyone finished their breakfast but Dan still hasn't come down.

\- We wanted to go skiing, will you two join us? -

\- Erm, I don't think so. We will just chill a bit. You know how clumsy we are. We'd probably break something if we tried skiing. But have fun! - Phil laughed, waving at everyone walking away.

\- That's true! Have fun boys, we will be back in the evening! - their mums laughed, walking away too and leaving Phil alone with Dan.

Phil walked upstairs to see where Dan had been this whole time.

Dan was still in the bathroom, simply staring out of the window.

\- We waited for you to join us at breakfast. - Phil leaned against the doorway.

\- Not hungry. - Dan murmured in a voice still raspy from all the crying.

\- You need to eat. You didn't eat much last night. - Phil walked closer to Dan.

\- I said that I am not hungry. - Dan said in a slightly stronger voice.

But feeling Phil walking closer wasn't helping, he had just gripped himself together enough not to cry and now with Phil walking closer and closer, everything was starting to fall apart once again.

\- Dan. - Phil put a hand on Dan shoulder.

\- Don't touch me! - Dan screamed, jumping up.

Everything broke apart, Dan couldn't hold his emotions in any longer, he felt like exploding.

\- Calm down. - Phil pulled his hand back.

\- Calm down? You are telling me to calm down? How the fuck can I calm down when the love of my life has dumped me and already found someone else?! How the fuck can I be calm now?! - Dan was yelling right in Phil's face.

Phil was taken aback by the sudden brust.

\- Why?! At least tell me why?! Or am I so unworthy that I don't deserve an explanation of why you left me? - Dan was close to crying but for now, anger was stronger.

\- No, Dan, You are worthy. - Phil was stumbling over his words.

\- Then explain to me! Explain it all to me! - Dan yelled.

\- I just, I don't know! And stop yelling at me! - Phil raised his voice too but this time it didn't stop Dan.

\- You broke my fucking heart and you don't even know why?! - Dan laughed at the irony.

\- Dan. - Phil gritted his teeth.

\- Maybe you've been cheating on me all this time? With that hottie on you phone? Or someone else? Maybe someone I know? - Dan kept pushing, now fully slipping into anger, forgetting all his sadness.

\- Stop it. - Phil said through gritted teeth.

\- Why? Truth is biting you in the eyes? Is that it? Are you really a fucking slutty cheater?! - Dan raised his tone at the end.

Phil couldn't take it anymore.

A loud slapping noice echoed in the bathroom.

Dan's eyes were wide, his head turned to the side with a bright red handprint on his cheek.

Phil looked down at his hand, now red from the slap.

His eyes widened at sudden realisation: he had just hit Dan.

Dan slowly looked over at Phil with a million emotions mixing in his eyes.

Phil had never hit Dan before.

They have had bigger and smaller arguments but neither of them had ever gone so far.

Phil was frozen for a moment, he didn't know what to do.

Phil saw Dan's eyes get darker and darker, his emotions fading.

He had no idea what to expect.

And to be honest, he was afraid of what would happen.

Dan just stood there, looking Phil straight in the eyes, doing nothing.

He didn't even blink.

Like he wasn't even there.

\- I'm sorry… I didn't mean to… - Phil spoke up first.

It took a moment for the words to sink in for Dan, but when they did, flaming anger came back within a second.

\- No, Phil, you wanted it. - Dan said in strangely calm tone.

\- Dan… I… - Phil stumbled over his words.

\- Tell me, for how long have you wanted to hit me? - Dan stepped closer to Phil.

That strage calm tone was scaring Phil.

\- I didn't, I didn't want to hit you. I really have no idea how that happened… Dan… - Phil was stepping back till his back hit the wall.

\- Don't lie to me. - Dan tilted his head to the side.

\- I am not… Stop scaring me. - Phil pushed Dan back a bit.

Dan gripped the back of Phil's neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

Phil's eyes widened in sudden shock but he was melting away into the rough kiss.

Phil gripped Dan's waist, pulling him closer.

Dan gripped Phil's hip with his free hand, slaming Phil against the wall, making their kiss even deeper.

Soon they both were moaning into the kiss, gripping at each other like it was a task to survive.

Dan leaned down, bitting down on Phil's neck, making sure to leave a big, angry mark there.

Phil moaned out loud, gripping Dan's hair in one hand and pulling a bit, making Dan moan.

Dan pulled back just to rip Phil's buttonup shirt off of him, runing it completly.

Phil gaspd at the sudden cold air hitting him.

He pulled Dan even closer, bitting his bottom lip, grabing his ass.

Dan kissed Phil even rougher, starting to pull his pants off too.

Phil tilted his head back, giving Dan more space to bite.

Dan was sucking on Phil's nipple, making Phil cry out, wanting more.

One of his hands was slipping between Phil's legs, slipping one finger inside him.

Phil gasped, pulling Dan's hair harder, causing Dan to bite down on his nipple and make Phil scream.

Without another second, there was two fingers inside Phil and Phil was moaning for more.

It had just been too fucking long since he'd last had sex.

Dan suddenly pulled his fingers out, kissing Phil one more time before turning him around and pinning his hands above his head.

Phil pushed his ass out for Dan, wanting and needing more.

Dan pushed in without warning, making Phil scream and gasp at the same time.

Burning and pleasure was mixing together.

Phil's eyes started to water but he wanted more so he pushed back against Dan.

Dan started to fuck in Phil in a rough and hard rhythm, leaning down to pull Phil into a sloppy kiss.

Dan slowly started to kiss Phil's shoulders and neck, making it all feel even more intense.

With every deep thrust they started to get closer and closer to the edge.

Dan was hitting that sweet spot every time because he knew exactly where to hit so accurately that it was impossible to miss.

Dan bit down on Phil's neck and shoulder, murmuring through gritted teeth.

\- Mine… Mine… Mine… - over and over again, with every bite.

It made Phil's head spin with love.

He leaned his head back, bitting down on Dan's jaw, making sure to leave big mark.

\- Mine. - Phil hissed.

Dan moaned, gripping Phil's hips even tighter and pushing in even harder.

They both gasped and screamed as they orgasmed, keeping on moving through the aftershock.

Neither of them wanted to pull apart.

Both were shaking like crazy.

Dan slowly pulled out of Phil with a soft popping noise, making Phil sigh at the sudden loss.

Phil pulled Dan close to himself right away, kissing him hard and deep.

Dan wrapped his arms around Phil, answering the kiss.

They both couldn't stop kissing and shaking from their strong orgasms.

Dan pulled them into the shower, letting water rush over them.

Phil moaned, rubbing against Dan.

They both planted kisses all over each other, leaving marks here and there.

Soon they were hard once again, moaning for more.

Phil pressed against the shower wall, ready for Dan to fuck his brains out.

It just felt like it wasn't possible to get enough.

They had no idea if it was only minutes or hours before they exploded again.

They moaned each other name, pulling one another into sloppy kisses.

Not really being able to breathe, they both gasped for air but still tried to keep kissing.

Somehow they stumbled to the bed, falling under the covers, pulling each other closer, quietly murmuring "mine" over and over again with their lips brushing together.

They didn't even notice when they fell asleep because even in sleep, they were gripping each other tightly.

They had pressed together as close as possible, with their lips still touching even in sleep.


	3. Acting or Not?

They both started to wake up when everyone else was just coming back from skiing.

They slowly opened their eyes, staring at each other.

Dan shivered for some unknown reason.

Phil pulled him a bit closer, if that was even possible, and hugged him even tighter.

Dan sighed softly, letting his lips slighty touch Phil's.

Phil pressed their lips together into a real kiss that soon got heated.

In a matter of seconds, Dan was on top of Phil, both kissing passionately.

A soft knock on the door made them both jump apart.

\- Just wanted to let you know that we're starting to make Christmas dinner and it would be nice if you could join us all. - Phil's Mum said from behind the closed door.

\- Okay, be down in a minute! - Phil called out in a raspy voice.

His Mum walked away without saying anything more.

Dan sighed, letting one hand run through his hair, his cheek still swollen from the hit.

Phil turned to look at Dan, pulling him down into one more kiss.

Dan felt breathless after it, laying in bed, watching Phil slowly get up.

\- Fuck… - Phil breathed out, holding onto the chair next to their bed.

Dan tilted his head to the side, silently questioning what was wrong.

\- I'm so damn sore. - Phil laughed a bit before putting on his clothes. - Dan, that was one of my favourite shirts and now it doesn't have any buttons left. -

\- Not my fault that it was in my way. - Dan shook his head, getting dressed as well.

Phil just smiled, shaking his head.

They both went downstairs, Phil tried as hard as he could to walk normally so he didn't let everyone know that he'd just been fucked and his ass was all sore.

Dan sat down, staring to look for what he should drink.

Phil joined him, hoping that there would be some juice or something.

There was deathly silence in the room that made them both look up to see everyone staring at them with weird looks.

\- Emm… what? - Dan asked, not understanding their reactions.

\- Have you looked into the mirror? - His brother tried hard not to laugh.

\- No, why? - Dan got all serious.

Did they missed a spot and leave cum somewhere?

Dan looked over at Phil when realization hit him, making him turn bright red.

Phil looked over at Dan, still confused.

Dan motioned on his neck and the realizaton then hit him too.

They both went bright red, looking down and making everyone else laugh.

\- I see that you had more fun than skiing. - Phil's brother murmured to him while walking past.

Phil shook his head, ignoring him.

\- So, what can we help with? - Dan asked, wanting to get away from the awkwardness in the room.

\- Em, yes, helping. - His mum started to explain what they could help with.

Through the whole baking and cooking process, Dan and Phil didn't even share a look with each other.

They mostly stayed on opposite sides of the kitchen, getting lost in small tasks they needed to do.

Their mums let them both go and rest for a bit when there was left just final touches left.

Dan's brother pulled Dan to the side, away from everyone.

\- What do you want? - Dan asked, wanting to sit down, feeling really exhausted.

\- Is there something wrong between you and Phil? You two seem a bit off these days. You can tell me. - his brother said, looking deep into Dan's eyes.

And just with that Dan was close to tears again.

\- Danny, what's wrong? - his brother held him by his shoulders.

\- There is no 'me and Phil' anymore… - Dan whispered, looking down.

\- What do you mean? I don't understand… - his brother asked, confused.

\- He broke up with me… three days before Christmas… He got tired of me… I'm not good enough for him, I never was… Last night at dinner… He was already chatting with some guy, pretty heated… - Dan murmured with tears starting to come out against his will.

\- Oh, Dan, why didn't you tell me? - his brother pulled him into a hug.

\- We didn't want to ruin anyone's Christmas holidays so we made a deal to fake that everything is fine… - Dan choked out.

\- That is such a dumb idea, can't he see that you are hurting? You still love him. - his brother shook his head.

\- It doesn't matter. I can hide my emotions well, you know it. This conversation shouldn't be happening right now. I didn't want to ruin your holiday. - Dan straighten up, wiping away tears, scrunching up his nose at the small pain going through his swollen cheek.

\- And what is this? - his brother motioned to the cheek.

\- Love bite, if you didn't recognise. - Dan chose to play stupid.

\- I know that, I mean your cheek. What's wrong with that? Tell me. - his brother crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for an answer.

\- It's nothing, just the result of my big mouth. - Dan shook his head.

\- He hit you?! -

\- Shut the fuck up! No one has to know, it was an accident. And he already got punished for it. - Dan said, looking down at his nails, memories playing back in his head.

\- Oh my, you two are disgusting. You should keep your kinks at home. - Brother laughed.

\- It is not a kink. Neither of us are into Sadomasochism, so calm down. - Dan leaned against the wall, feeling on the edge of passing out, he just felt so damn tired.

\- Are you okay? You look like you'll pass out any minute. - his brother gripped his shoulder to steady him.

\- Yeah, I just want to sit down, I haven't really slept well for the last few days. - Dan sighed, stretching out.

\- Okay, but you two should really sort things out. - his brother said before walking away.

Dan just sighed again, slowly standing up and walking to sit next to the fire place.

He didn't even notice his eyes closing or him slipping into sleep.

Phil watched Dan sleeping from the other side of the room, deep in his mind.

They needed to talk things out, about everything that had happened.

Phil needed to admit that, even while his ass was sore as hell, he loved the sex they had.

It had been so long since they'd last had sex so now it felt even more intense.

It seemed like they couldn't get enough of each other.

Dan's cheek was still swollen red from the hit, it was like a big shameful reminder of what Phil did.

He still didn't understand how he could hit Dan.

It hurt Phil to see Dan hurt like this.

Dan was curled into a small ball, as if to trying to disappear from the cruel world.

Phil got up and slowly slipped next to Dan, pulling him closer.

Dan relaxed right away into Phil's touch.

He sighed softly, still asleep.

Phil pushed Dan's hair away from his eyes, looking down at his pale face.

Phil missed moments like this, where they could just cuddle together, feeling love.

Phil still wasn't sure about his choices and he wasn't sure if there was a way back.

\- Boys, dinner is ready! - their mums called.

Phil nodded, leaning down, waking Dan up with a soft kiss on his lips.

Dan opened his eyes, feeling somehow distant, like he wasn't even here in this world, just watching it through the window.

\- Dinner is ready, time to eat. - Phil said in a soft voice, letting Dan wake fully up.

\- Mhm… - Dan slowly got up, stretching out.

\- Dan? - Phil got up too.

\- Not now, Phil. I'm too tired. - Dan shook his head before walking to the kitchen, putting on his cheerful smile.

Phil felt a sting of sadness but shook it off, following Dan to the kitchen.

For that hour everyone was fully happy, laughter filling the cabin.

They really enjoyed the family time as much as possible.

Dan was giggling and smiling but Phil knew some of that was because of how much wine they'd drunk and a lot was because of how well Dan could fake his emotions.

After all these years Phil knew how to see past the walls Dan put around himself, faking his emotions for others. Phil had gone through the hard way to learn it and now he still could see bits of dark seeping through the cracks in Dan's walls.

But Phil needed to admit that Dan seemed actually happy, there was that beautiful spark in his eyes when he laughed.

No-one noticed how much Dan had actually drank but he was wasted, everything seemed blurry and fun so Dan was laughing a lot, enjoying their family Christmas dinner.

With every minute dinner went on, more and more funny things started to come up; in the end they were all laughing so hard that tears were coming out.

They all were gasping for breath, trying to calm down, slowly getting ready for sleep.

Dan was still sitting down at the table, drinking the last bits of wine left of who knows which bottle.

\- Honey, are you alright? - his mum stopped next to him, making Dan look up and smile.

\- Of course, I love you mummy! - Dan smiled, pulling his mum into a big hug.

\- I love you too, baby. - his Mum planted a kiss on top of Dan's head.

Dan closed his eyes, enjoying the loving warmth.

And all of a sudden he felt like crying.

He tried his best to swallow all the tears that wanted to break out, taking a couple of deep breaths before letting go of the hug.

\- Don't stay up too late. - his mum smiled at him before walking away.

\- Goodnight. - Dan murmured, then turning back to the last wine glass in front of him, downing it all.

Dan sat there, looking out of the window.

It was snowing again, it felt so calming.

Dan felt the sudden urge to take a walk, melting between all the snowflakes hugging the Earth.

Dan slowly got up, stumbling over his own legs.

The door seemed a lot further away then before and it was so damn funny for Dan.

\- Where do you think you are going? - Phil's voice made Dan jump a bit.

\- Outside. It's snowing. - Dan put his hand on the doorknob but Phil pulled him back.

\- Ey! You are not going anywhere other than bed. - Phil murmured, pulling Dan towards the staircase.

\- Naaaa. I don't want to. - for some reason Dan was about to laugh.

\- But you need to, c'mon. - Phil was pulling Dan, he was sure that there would be a bruise on his wrist tomorrow from how much force he was using.

\- Make me. - Dan stuck his tonage out at Phil.

It just looked so cute, Phil smiled at that.

Phil pulled Dan closer into his arms.

Dan smiled with his dimples coming out, looking down at Phil.

And for a moment Phil got lost in Dan's eyes before picking Dan up and putting him over his shoulder.

Dan let out a small scream of surprise, starting to laugh.

Phil put one hand on Dan's ass, just to make sure that he wouldn't fall down while they were climbing the stairs.

Dan laughed with every move, slapping Phil's ass in the end, making Phil jump.

\- Dan! We could have fallen down the stairs! - Phil said in a hushed voice, making Dan laugh even harder.

Dan just sqeezed Phil's ass, making him jump once more.

\- Dan, for fucks sake, stop. - Phil threw Dan into bed but Dan pulled Phil down with him, making him fall on top of Dan.

\- But I don't want to. - Dan said with a big cheeky smile.

\- But my ass is still sore. - Phil couldn't stop a smile start to appear on his lips too.

\- I can make it feel a lot better. - Dan had that spark in his eyes that made Phil's mouth go dry.

Dan slid his hands down Phil's back, softly. over his ass, making Phil close his eyes at the sensation.

\- Dan… You are drunk… - Phil tried his best to fight the urge to give in.

\- That doesn't change anything. Maybe it will be the last time I can get you to be mine. So is it really that bad I'm trying my best even while knowing that I will only get hurt again afterwards? - Dan asked in full honesty, looking straight into Phil's eyes.

\- Danny… - Phil felt the sharp pain of guilt seep through his body.

\- And now you will just leave me once again. Of course. Whatever. - the spark in Dan's eyes was gone, Dan pushed Phil off of him, sitting up, running one hand through his hair.

\- I'm sorry… - Phil murmured.

\- Don't, okay? Just don't. It's better if you simply hit me again, not push these fake apologies all over me. - Dan snapped, feeling and sounding really tired, slowly getting up.

\- Where are you going? - Phil sat up straighter.

\- I will sleep downstairs on the couch. - Dan didn't even turn to look at Phil, walking out of the room.

He tried his best to shut out all of his emotions.

He lay down on the couch, pulling a soft blanket over himself, watching the last pieces of fire burn away into the fireplace in front of him.

Phil lay down in bed, feeling really bad.

He understood that he'd hurt Dan a lot in all the possible ways.

And just hearing that Dan would rather be hit again then hear his apologies was itself like a slap to Phil.

Phil tried his best to fall asleep before falling apart.

They had no idea that they were both was crying at the same time, their hearts wishing for the same person who was so close and yet, so far away.


	4. Lets Be Honest

(Inspired by listening to Alec Banjamin - Worst Day of My Life; and couple other of his songs. Enjoy.)

In the morning, Dan woke up before everyone else, he just didn't feel like sleeping.

He knew that he was simply having one of those off days.

He started a new fire in the fireplace before walking to the kitchen, starting to make pancakes for everyone's breakfast.

He zoned out a lot, not really feeling anything at all around him.

\- Good Morning, Dan! - his mum came and gave him a small kiss on the cheek, - You made all this by yourself? Oh, honey! You are an Angel! -

Dan looked down to see that he have already made enough food for not just breakfast but lunch too.

There was pancakes and other foods he didn't remember making.

Dan looked over to see that he have already made coffee too.

Everyone slowly made their way down, sitting around the table, eating and chatting.

Dan simply stood there, leaning against the kitchen bar, looking out of the window at nothing in particular, zoning out once again.

A touch on his hand made him focus again, looking up too see who was it.

\- Come on, we're sharing our gifts. - his brother said with an assuring smile.

Dan simply nodded, following him to the living room where everyone was sat around the fireplace, already sharing their gifts.

Soon, it was his turn. He slowly took out an envelope from his pocket, giving it to Phil.

Phil looked up, a bit surprised, but took it, looking down at what was inside, his eyes widening in shock.

\- Two person trip to Japan at cherry blossom time. One week of fully paid vacation. I thought that you'd love it. - Dan said with his voice still raspy.

\- Dan… Thank you so so much! It is amazing! - Phil was in shock, not knowing how to react.

Dan let his head hang low.

Everyone was talking about how amazing the gift was.

\- So nice. -

\- So lovely. -

\- Awww, -

\- Amazing. -

He slowly got up, slipping away from everyone else sharing their gifts.

Dan slipped a coat on, walking outside.

He simply wandered around in the snowy land.

Sinking deeper and deeper in his mind.

When he'd bought that trip, everything had still been okay, he'd thought that they both could go there and enjoy it all together but, right now, Dan wasn't sure about this gift.

Yes, he did made Phil happy, but knowing that he might share the special trip with someone else made Dan's heart break.

He didn't even notice that he was crying, he was sitting down on at bench somewhere he didn't know.

It all just hurt so damn much.

Memories were playing in his head, screaming at him about his mistakes and things he should have done differently.

At first Dan had just let Phil be free, thinking that Phil just wanted a bit more fun, like breathe on his own, without Dan always at his side.

He had no idea that it would lead to them slipping further and further apart from each other.

Soon there was only like one kiss a day, nothing more.

Then there were days of barely even speaking, sleeping like two strangers next to each other in one bed.

But Dan still loved Phil with all his heart, he just didn't know what to do.

He felt unwanted, so he let Phil live on his own.

And then Phil said those words, and Dan was left broken.

He'd been breaking apart from the first day when everything started to go wrong, months before he'd actually gotten dumped, but in that moment he shattered into hundreds of small, sharp pieces.

He wasn't sure if there even was a way to fix the mess he was inside.

Because, no matter how hard he tried, there was no way back to Phil's heart, back to the relationship they'd once had.

Dan wanted to slap himself for how stupid he'd been, thinking that it would be for the best, that they wouldn't talk for a bit but then they'd magically get back together.

It was all such bullshit; people fall apart and when they start to ignore each other, the last stitches are cut.

Dan didn't even notice how it had already gotten dark outside.

He looked down at his hands that were now some weird bluish color.

He slowly got up, starting to walk back to the cabin.

He needed to talk about everything, to figure out what he should do next.

Dan felt extremely tired, he was zoning out a lot, not comprehending most of the walk back to the cabin.

So Dan choose to leave the big talk to tomorrow, when he wouldn't be like this.

Dan walked in, sighing.

And, the next moment, he was somehow already in the living room with everyone around him.

Dan didn't understand what was happening so he just waved everyone away.

\- I'm fine, I'm fine. - Dan murmured, sliding down onto the couch, closing his eyes and blacking out.

Everyone around him was worried.

Phil felt guilty.

He sat down next to Dan, pulling a warm blanket all over him.

\- I think he's having one of these weird days, I will watch over him. - Phil said to everyone, pushing Dan's damp hair out of his face.

Dan sighed softly like he was in pain.

Phil sighed too, runing his hand through Dan's hair.

that night Phil had a lot of time to think.

He was thinking back to all the things that had happened, thinking about all the why's why they were in a situation like this.

When he'd broken up with Dan, he'd really felt like it was the right thing to do.

Phil had been tired.

Maybe not of Dan but just of the situation itself.

But now seeing Dan so hurt, it hurt Phil too.

Phil still didn't know if he had made a mistake or the right choice.

Because after break up, one will always left hurt while other was walking away completely fine.

He looked down at the sleeping Dan before standing up, only to sit down in the couch right next to the one Dan was sleeping in.

Phil watched Dan until he fell asleep.

In the morning Dan woke up with an annoying headache eating at him.

He shrugged before getting up fully to see sleeping Phil on the couch next to the one he was in.

Dan had no idea why Phil was sleeping here and not in the fancy bed upstairs.

He didn't remember anything that could explain it either.

He slowly went to the kitchen, pouring black coffee into a cup and starting to drink it while looking out of the window.

For the first time in days, Dan didn't feel the urge to drink, well, at least for now.

Soon everyone else started to come down.

\- I am so sorry about yesterday, I have no idea what got into me. - Dan said with sad smile, feeling everyone look at him.

\- It's okay, don't worry. - his brother said, putting an arm around him.

\- Thank you. I think I'll skip breakfast, I'm not really feeling hungry and I should gather my things for the train. - Dan put down his second coffee cup.

\- Train? But we thought that you two would stay for a couple more days… - his mum speak up.

\- I know, I just… - Dan took a deep breath. - I just… -

He just couldn't gather the strength to tell everyone about him and Phil.

For some reason he couldn't speak it out, as if him saying it out loud for everyone would make it official.

Dan just stood there without the ability to speak with everyone looking at him, waiting.

\- Dan? - Phil stopped next to him, making Dan turn and look him in the eyes, - We already talked about that, we can stay a few extra days. Your job can wait a bit. Family time is more important. - Phil said with such a perfect smile, pulling Dan into hug.

Dan felt frozen.

He simply nodded, feeling the warmth of Phil seeping into his frozen body.

Dan closed his eyes, leaning into the touch, enjoying it while he could.

Phil let his fingers slide a bit more down, stopping at Dan's hip, griping it a bit tighter, knowing that such a small touch has always been able to calm Dan down.

This time it didn't help, it made everything even worse.

In that moment Dan felt the heat rush through his body, he wanted to cry and kiss Phil, asking for one more chance.

But Dan knew that he just couldn't do that, Phil deserved to be happy.

Dan let out a shaky breath before pulling away from Phil, facing his family.

His brother gave him a worrying look, as if to ask whether Dan was okay.

Dan just nodded, looking away.

Phil sat down, starting to eat.

Dan slowly walked upstairs, climbing into the big bed that still smelled like Phil.

With every day it got harder and harder to be so close to Phil but not close at all.

So Dan made his mind up, taking out his pc and starting to look for a new apartment to rent.

It was so hard to even think about moving away, they had chosen this flat together as their "family" home.

Dan couldn't believe that Phil still wanted to play this bullshit.

Dan felt sick of it.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when the bedroom door opened and Phil come in.

Dan looked back down, not really wanting to get lost in Phil's blue eyes again.

\- Dan, can we please talk? - Phil walked closer, sitting down right in front of Dan.

\- I am moving out. - Dan blurted out, not looking up.

\- You what? - Phil was shocked, it felt like a slap to his face.

\- I am moving out as soon as we get back. There is no point for me to stay there. - Dan said closing his laptop and putting it down on the nightstand, finally looking up at Phil.

Dan felt a bit confused to see how shocked and hurt Phil looked.

\- I don't want you to move out… - Phil murmured, almost whined.

\- And what, you want me to stay and watch how you make new life with someone else? I can't do that Phil. I am hurting, all this is hurting me. I can't do it anymore. - Dan sighed.

\- I'm sorry… - Phil sounded hurt himself.

\- Don't be. You deserve to be happy. And now there won't be me who will hold you down. - Dan said, looking down.

\- You weren't holding me down, Dan. Never. I was wrong, I was so damn wrong. - Phil reached out for Dan's hand.

\- Wrong? In what way, Phil? - Dan was confused, letting Phil take his hand.

\- I thought that you didn't love me anymore but after seeing you over these past days, I realize that your love for me was even stronger than I ever knew. I was so damn wrong to break up with you. I was so stupid, I am so stupid. - there were tears in Phil's eyes.

\- If you just want to fuck me, I would have let you anyway. - Dan blurted out, making them both burst out laughing.

\- Dan, I want you back. I really want you back. All of you. To be honest, I can't live without you. - Phil looked so desperate.

\- You know that I can't ever say no to you… - Dan mumbled, leaning closer to Phil.

\- Will you be my boyfriend again? - Phil asked with hope in his voice and eyes.

\- Of course, just please, please don't break up with me again… I won't survive you leaving… - Dan let a tear slip down his cheek.

\- I am so so sorry… - Phil was crying too.

Dan pulled Phil into a hug, simply breathing in his scent.

Phil pulled Dan into a deep kiss, pouring out all the emotions, most of it love, pure love.

Dan felt dizzy from the sweet kiss, pulling Phil even closer.

The kiss got even more heated with every second, Dan eventually slid his hands down Phil's body, stopping at his ass.

\- Still sore, you fucked me good. - Phil mumbled, kissing further down, staring to suck at Dan's neck.

Dan moaned, pulling Phil back up by his hair.

\- You will make me hard with that. - Dan shook his head.

\- Then let's just cuddle and enjoy each other, enjoy being together. - Phil said, pecking Dan's lips.

Dan smiled, a real smile this time, hugging Phil really tight.

Phil smiled, holding Dan close.

They both enjoyed the small moment shared, so simple but so full of love.


	5. Fun and Jealousy

A soft knock on the door woke them up.

\- Boys, will you join us on the hill? - Dan's brother's girlfriend asked from behind the closed door.

\- Em, yeah. Be down in a min. - Phil called out, then hearing her go away.

\- Will you really be down in a min? - Dan asked with a smile on his face.

\- Yea, oh, shut up! - Phil started to laugh, making Dan join in too.

They both got up, putting on some warmer clothes before going down to meet their family.

They all went to the hill, enjoying their time there.

Dan and Phil somehow ended up in some deeper snow, throwing it at each other, laughing.

Suddenly they stopped, simply staring each other in the eyes.

Dan leaned down, kissing Phil.

Phil pulled him even closer, forgetting about the cold snow all around them.

\- Get a room, you two! - Phil's brother laughed, walking past them.

They both started laughing again, slowly getting up.

They spent a bit more time there, simply enjoying the snow and view, before they all decided to head back to their cabin.

Dan and Phil were back to their loving nature, playfully pushing each other into snow, laughing and sharing soft kisses on the way back.

Inside, they headed to sit next to the fireplace while the others were making hot chocolate.

Phil got his beeping phone out, getting new text every couple of minutes.

\- Who are you texting so much? - Dan asked, leaning over to look.

He saw that Phil was texting that guy from the club again.

\- Why are you still texting him? - jealousy started to set into Dan.

\- I can't just stop talking to someone, Dan. - Phil shrugged, getting a cute selfie from the guy.

\- Tell him to fuck off! - Dan stood up, annoyed.

\- No, Dan. - Phil start to get annoyed too.

\- Why not? - Dan raised his voice.

\- Stop talking with me in a tone like that! - Phil got up too.

\- You told me that you wanted just me but now you're still texting some random guy from the club! - Dan couldn't take it anymore.

\- You always overreact! We're just friends! - Phil was getting more and more annoyed by Dan.

\- Friends don't send dirty texts and photos of them in bed asking them to join them! - Dan yelled.

\- Have you been looking through my phone?! - Phil's voice rose.

\- Have you been cheating on me?! - Dan snapped back.

\- You are such a fool! Always blaming everyone else! Stop acting like a victim in every argument! It's pathetic! - Phil crossed his arms over his chest.

\- I am so done with you! If you are cheating then just fucking leave me and never come back! - Dan yelled in flaming anger.

\- Maybe it would have been better if I would never asked you to be my boyfriend again! - Phil snapped back, slapping Dan with his words.

\- I wish that you would have never saved me! - tears were making their way into Dan's eyes.

Dan rushed past Phil, ignoring their families watching them from kitchen.

\- And where do you think you're going now?! - Phil grabbed Dan's wrist, not letting him go.

\- Fucking doing what I should have done years back! Making your life so much easier! - Dan snapped, trying to pull his hand out of Phil's grip.

\- You're not going anywhere! - Phil gripped his wrist even tighter.

\- Why not? Oh, stop pretending that you care I'm going to fucking kill myself! You already have a replacement ready! - Dan yelled, still trying to pull free.

\- I fucking care about you! How can you not understand that?! - Phil grabbed Dan's other hand too.

\- Let me fucking go! - Dan screamed with tears starting to stream over his cheeks.

\- No! - Phil held Dan's even tighter.

\- Just let go! - Dan tried to pull out of Phil's grip, tears streaming down his face.

Phil grabbed Dan by his hair and pulled him into a harsh kiss, making Dan shut up.

With his free hand, Dan reached up, grabbing Phil's hair, bitting down on his lip.

But Phil didn't let him go, making the kiss even deeper until Dan sighed, giving up and starting to melt into their kiss.

Phil held Dan's hair tightlyr, looking him straight in the eyes.

\- I love you, I don't care about anyone else. I love you and only you. How don't you understand that? - Phil growled through gritted teeth.

\- I fucking love you. - Dan sighed, pulling Phil back into a kiss, much deeper now.

Phil slowly let go of Dan's hair, hugging him.

Dan finally pulled his hands out of Phil's grip, wrapping his arms around Phil.

They both fully melted into the kiss, forgetting about everyone else still in the room.

Someone coughed, making them jump appart.

Everyone was looking at them, an awkward silence filling the room.

\- Oops… - They both murmured at the same time, still holding each other close, afraid to let go of each other.

\- Erm… Hot chocolate is ready… - their Mums breathed out, not really knowing how to react.

\- Thank you. - Phil spoke up before looking down at Dan, wiping away what was left of his tears.

\- Phil… - Dan whispered so only Phil could hear him.

\- Sh, I'm sorry, baby… It's my fault, I pushed you too hard. I'm sorry. - Phil whispered to Dan, feeling really guilty.

\- I overreacted… I just… - Dan hung his head low.

\- I know that you're really bad at jealousy, I'm sorry. - Phil pulled Dan's head up by his chin. - Are we still good? - Phil looked deep inside Dan's eyes.

\- Yeah. - Dan nodded.

\- And don't try to kill yourself, I will personally track you down and bring you back just to kill you for how stupid you acted. - Phil said in all seriousness.

\- Okay. - Dan smiled a bit.

Phil smiled too, pulling Dan into a soft kiss before going back to sit down on the couches and drink hot chocolate.

Dan curled up into Phil's lap, enjoying Phil's arms wrapping around him as if to protect him from something.

Phil planted a soft kiss on the top of Dan's head, loving how he was curled in Phil's lap like that was the perfect place made for him.

Soon the cheerful mood was back, everyone slipped back to normal talks.

They ate their dinners, joking around.

After dinner everyone left to do their own thing, Dan and Phil slipping to their bedroom.

Already getting ready to sleep, feeling exhausted.

Phil left to go to the bathroom when his phone start to buzz once again.

Dan picked it up to see the guy calling Phil.

He answered the call without even thinking, jealousy and anger setting into him.

\- Hey, Phil. - the guy said in a flirty voice.

\- Get the fuck off of my boyfriend you fucking pimp with ears! He is mine and only mine! Stop destroying families or I swear to god, I will sue you and ruin your life and your children's and then your grandchildren's! Do you fucking understand me or do I need to be even more clear? - Dan yelled into the phone, letting his voice be as cold as ice and as sharp as a blade, scaring not just guy on the other side of phone but everyone else in the cabin.

Dan threw the phone down on the bed, feeling like he could rip something apart.

\- Wow, babe. - Phil breathed out, surprised, walking closer to Dan.

\- I could fucking rip him apart right now! - Dan growled, his hands clenching into fists.

\- You're so sexy when you are angry like this. - Phil pulled Dan into his arms.

\- Phil. - Dan warned him but Phil didn't listen, holding Dan close, leaning down, starting to kiss his neck, biting down.

Dan wrapped his arms around Phil, gripping his hips.

\- I could fuck you right now, right here, against the wall… - Phil murmured against Dan's neck, biting down a bit harder.

\- Fuck, Phil… - Dan moaned out, trying to supress his moans.

\- But we need to go to sleep. And there are too many people around us. - Phil stretched out, ready to get into bed.

\- Phillip! You can't do that! - Dan whined, pulling Phil back close.

\- Why not? You're too loud for us to do it in a house full of people. - Phil started to smile.

\- Phiiiil. - Dan whined.

\- What? - Phil started to laugh, wrapping his arms around Dan. - You look so lovely. -

\- And I'm hard. Because of your teasing. - Dan said, annoyed.

\- I'm still sore but. - Phil put a finger over Dan's lips. - If you promise to not make any sound at all, we can work something out. -

Dan nodded, sucking Phil's finger inside his mouth.

Phil's eyes got darker, watching Dan suck his finger.

Phil pulled Dan into a deep, hungry kiss that soon heated up even more.

They both fell into bed, trying to get each other's clothes off.

Phil sat up, admiring Dan's body, marks from their last time still visable.

Phil let his hands run over his body, simply enjoying how it felt under his fingertips.

Dan was bitting down on his bottom lip, trying not to let out any sound at all.

He pushed his hips up, wanting to meet Phil's.

Phil leaned down to Dan's ear, letting Dan's arms wrap around his body.

\- I would love to fuck you right now but we don't have any condoms or lube. - Phil breathed out.

\- Are you kidding me right now? - Dan turned to look at Phil.

\- No. I didn't pack any and you probably didn't either. So no love making for us. - Phil pushed Dan's hair out of his eyes.

\- For fuck's sake. Do we really need them? - Dan asked, enjoying Phil's hands pushing his hair up.

\- Dan, I am still sore after 3 days, I don't want you to be in pain. - Phil said in a serious tone.

\- I don't care. I just want you. - Dan whined.

\- Calm down, you will need to wait until we get home. - Phil smiled, kissing Dan.

\- Then we will need to buy a bunch of them because I'm not sure if we even have any. - Dan murmured into the kiss.

\- Okay. - Phil mumbled, kissing Dan's neck.

\- Phil, you know that it's really sensitive… - Dan was about to moan.

\- Sh, trust me. - Phil hushed, moving his trail of kisses lower.

Dan followed him with eyes, gasping when Phil sucked him into his mouth, looking up at Dan.

That sensation on its own was almost too much for Dan.

He was about to bite down on his overworked bottom lip when Phil put a hand over Dan's mouth, shushing the moan that would have come out.

Phil started to work with his tongue, adding extra pleasure.

He kept eye contact with Dan the whole time to make it feel even more sexual.

Soon Dan was starting to fall apart, trying his best not to moan, thanking Phil for putting a hand over his mouth and keeping it there.

Right when Dan's dick hit the back of Phil's throat, Dan arched his back.

But Phil just kept sucking it in, letting it hit the back of his throat, silently moaning around Dan's dick.

It was the last straw for Dan, he was then shooting down Phil's throat, making them both moan.

Phil swallowed everything, cleaning up all the bits that spilled down.

Afterwards, he placed a soft kiss right on the top of Dan's dick head before crawling back up.

Phil slowly took his hand off Dan's mouth, leaning down to kiss him.

Dan answered the kiss, feeling a bit breathless.

\- Was it good enough for now? - Phil mumbled against Dan's lips.

\- Yes, hell yes. - Dan breathed out, pulling Phil into one more kiss. - I love you. -

\- I love you, baby. - Phil smiled down into the kiss, rolling around, pulling Dan into hug.

They both yawned at the same time, laughing at each other before cuddling even closer.

Both slowly driffted away into sleep, enjoying being in each other arms.


End file.
